Daily Archives: December 26, 2011

Shroud of Turin NOT a medieval forgery!

Click graphic to embiggen.

English language article about the report:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/religion/8966422/Italian-study-claims-Turin-Shroud-is-Christs-authentic-burial-robe.html

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Filed under Christianity

Why the office Christmas party was cancelled

December 6
To: All Employees
I’m happy to announce that the company Christmas party will take place on December 23 at Billy Bob’s Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and the local River City Ramblers Bluegrass Band will be playing traditional Christmas carols. And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Merry Christmas to you and your family!
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director

December 7
To: All Employees
In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas. So from now on we’re calling it our “Holiday Party.” The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa. There will be no Christmas tree and no Santa Claus, and no Christmas carols will be sung. Happy holidays to you and your family.
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director

December 9
To: All Employees
Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I’m happy to accommodate this request; but don’t forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads, “AA Only,” you won’t be anonymous anymore.
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director

December 13
To: All Employees
I’ve arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the restrooms. Gay men may sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men; each will have their own table. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men’s table. Happy now?
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director

December 16
To: All Employees
Vegetarians! I’ve had it with you people!! We’re going to hold this party at Billy Bob’s Open Pit whether you like it or not! You can just sit at the table farthest from the “Grill of Death,” as you put it, and you’ll get salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I’ve heard them scream. I’m hearing them right now! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die, y’all hear me?
Patty Lewis
The Bitch from Hell

December 19
To: All Employees
I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her nervous breakdown. I’ll continue to forward your cards to her at the psych ward at St. Luke’s Hospital. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Happy Holidays!
Terri Jones
Acting Human Resources Director

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Filed under Funny Stuff, Holidays

Pirate Sock Monkey

Mama Buzz tracked down and photographed the elusive pirate (Mr. Potatohead’s pirate set) sock monkey (Buzz’s stuffy)!

She found him lounging around with his latest ship (Noah’s Ark) full of (chocolate) gold coins, the world’s biggest diamond (Bunny’s chew toy) and jewels (dress up box).

Beware his sword (toy kitchen) and his crafty trained capuchin (just like Captain Barbossa has in Pirates of the Carribean).

Her photo is way better than ours. Dearest and I are so bummed … we had SUCH PLANS for those 500 goobers … maybe a second honeymoon in some tropical paradise. ::sigh::

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Filed under Family & Friends

CHRISTMAS MEMORIES 2011

Hope everybody had a spectacular holiday.
L-O-V-E-D all the videos people posted.I’d never seen any of them.Thank you all.

Things went very well at the bunkhouse under the circumstances.DW made her ham with the gooey 7-up and brown sugar glaze,cheesy diced potatoes with bits of ham and her corn casserole.DIL brought a crockpot of little meatballs in some kind of barbeque sauce and stepdaughter made a big tray of her sugar,peanut butter and thumbprint cookies and little gingerbread balls coated with brown sugar.Given my shrewd negotiating skills,I traded her the leftover corn casserole for the cookies,which I am enjoying at this moment with my first cup of coffee as I type this.
The little ones gathered around the computer and I pulled up ‘I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas’ and a couple other kids’ songs they sang along to.
I only got one physical gift,a coffee cup my 4 year old granddaughter had picked out that says “I Love My Grandpa.”
Money-wise,not much,really.When I gave her a big hug and told her how much I liked it she smiled the smile of the innocent when they know they have pleased someone they care about.That cup means more than gold to me.Every time I use it,I’ll remember the day I got it and the precious gift God gave me named Olivia.

Please feel free to use this as an open thread to share your day with the rest of us.
I may start posting the Grudge again tomorrow or so,but I’m in too good a mood to tackle it right now.

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Filed under Holidays