Posted by Pistol Pete
WINTER FESTIVAL TREE MURDERED AND BODY DRAGGED TO WHITE HUT FOR PUBLIC DISPLAY
157 AIR FORCE MAJORS TERMINATED WITHOUT RETIREMENT BENEFITS
Not only do the liberal pricks lack the guts to defend our country,they seem to delight in pissing on those who do.
OBAMA TURNS TO BIDEN FOR HELP IN THREE KEY STATES
You know you’re in trouble when you depend on a pompous gasbag who opens his mouth to change feet and steps on his own weiner as a matter of rote.
HOLDER’S DEPARTMENT OF RETRIBUTION
Sadly,he’ll pay no price for any of it.
THIS KID IS 10 YEARS OLD!
MR. TINGLES:THE NATIONAL MEDIA LEANS A LITTLE TO THE LEFT
If it leaned any farther it would fall as flat as your ratings,bonehead.
1. The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, “You stay here; I’ll go on a head.”
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, “Keep off the Grass.”
15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.
19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine .
21. A vulture boards an airplane carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”
22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, “Dam!”
23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One said, “I’ve lost my electron.” The other said, “Are you sure?” The first replied, “Yes, I’m positive.”
25. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends in the hope at least one of the puns would make one laugh. No pun in ten did.
OCCUBAGGERS CAN’T STOP S.F. SHOPPERS
I said before the OWS pukes couldn’t stand up to crazed shopaholics
THE COMING EVICTION OF OCCUPY LA AN EXERCISE IN GROVELING
You can’t appease your enemy
GOP FIELD RUNNING AGAINST THE MEDIA
The left doesn’t stand a chance in a fair fight–never has,never will
OBAMA PLAYS GOLF FOR THE 30TH TIME THIS YEAR
OBAMA TO TAKE IN BASKETBALL GAMES TODAY
Glad to see he can take a little time away from focusing like a laser on jobs for the American people
ARE PROGRESSIVES FOR THE LITTLE GUY?
INCRIMINATING TIMELINE:DEMOCRATS PUNT ON FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY
THE BEST LEADERS MONEY CAN BUY