A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
‘Al-Gebra is a problem for us’, the Attorney General said. ‘They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.’ They use secret code names like ‘X’ and ‘Y’ and refer to themselves as ‘unknowns’, but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, ‘There are 3 sides to every triangle’.
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, ‘If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes.’ White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President. It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow.
If this is just the Homeowners Assn deciding it’s time they enforced the regs, they picked the way wrong sign to start with. 89% of Americans support our troops.
CONSERVATIVES AT WAR OVER BOEHNER PLAN
Krauthammer and Hume agree the GOP should take what they can get until they control the Senate and the Presidency.Somehow giving the Usurper $1T now to spend as he pleases in exchange for $1.5T in phantom cuts over the next 10 years looks like a total win for Obama. http://townhall.com/tipsheet/guybenson/2011/07/26/conservatives_at_war_over_boehner_plan
EVERYTHING SEEMS SO DEPRESSING;IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT,HERE IS PASTOR JOE NELMS AT THE NATIONWIDE RACE SATURDAY.IT’S ONE OF THE FUNNIEST THINGS I’VE SEEN LATELY.I ENVY HIS CONGREGANTS.